… When its Difficult to Decide

Decisions and choices are  part of life; in fact the failure to decide is a ‘decision’ on its own! As long as we live, we are faced with situations that demand that we make choices.. but sometime the act of ‘decision making’ could be very tough. I understand there are decisions you make under duress; an example is what to do when you are being robbed at gun-point, or when trapped in the elevator. I’m not referring to these type of decisions where your survival instinct takes over.


I have found myself in situations where I was so confused, unsure, lost, perplexed, bewildered, disoriented worried, disturbed, fearful… (please fill in the gap.. ) that I really don’t know what to do! Recently, I was almost regretting a decision I made a while ago.. and I felt I could have made a better choice, what did I learn in my reflection..? What do you do when it’s difficult to decide?

1- Be Still  - There is  strength in Stillness; just hang in there! Stop!  Halt! Wait! Do what ever you need to do to reduce the ‘noise’ around you; you may need to take a walk, see a movie, visit a friend, go to church, etc. You may also do some positive self-talk.. talk to yourself loudly and clearly.. re-affirming yourself (make sure you don’t do this in public so that somebody will not think you are running m_d). Just take your mind off..

2- Think on Paper  - Take a pen and paper, ask  yourself questions and write down the facts. A number of times when I was really overwhelmed and disturbed, its interesting to know that after a paper thinking session.. I found out the challenge was not as bad as it looks. The brain has a way of exaggerating issues when you attempt to process a lot of them on your mind.

3- Take Responsibility  - In uncertain situations, there is high tendency to shift ‘decision-making’ responsibility to someone else, especially in the African culture.  For example, a lady will prefer to go and ask her Pastor “What God is saying about her suitor” than sitting down to think  through her options. I’m not saying its bad to seek fourth dimensional  assistance (Spiritual help), but whatever input you will get from ‘Men of God’, friends or relatives should be a ‘confirmation’ of your position; not a pivot for your decision.


Do you know why you need to take responsibility for your decision? Because your decision will be tested – somewhere, somehow, sometime! If you do not take responsibility for your decision, its not only likely you’ll make a wrong decision… its almost certain that you will blame somebody for your failure.

Lastly, its good to base decisions on facts but it’s also important to know that  there is  a ‘bit’ of God in all men; its important to look inward and search the soul and spirit for insights; then Decide!


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About Debo

I'm simple! I'm thoughtful.. I'm thorough.. I'm logical.. I'm loving... I'm diplomatic.. I can be critical.. I can be daring.. I can mood-swing.. I can "click Ignore".. I'm work in progress.. I'm Debo!
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